If you are too hungry for love, it ends up putting people off. They will quickly come to the conclusion that, no matter what they do, they can never make you happy. If you ask too much, people will avoid you.
If you are someone who’s hungry for love, the affection you crave has the same effect as food does for a bulimic person, or drugs for an addict. It gives you a temporary lift, but it doesn’t satisfy you. Suddenly that’s all you can think about. You have to have it and every fix has to be bigger than the one before. You are prepared to do anything to feel loved. You become capable of almost every kind of persuasive behaviour, even blackmail, to get what you want.
Of course, it’s natural to want to be loved. Everyone needs love, especially when things are going badly. Some people undoubtedly need it more than others, for example those who were deprived of affection – or, conversely, overindulged – in their childhood.
It is possible to avoid an unhealthy craving for love and affection by developing your own emotional intelligence, and improving your relationships with other people. If you suspect you are too hungry for love, you have to identify first of all, the ‘illness’, the form it takes. Then, you need to strengthen your immune system to limit any damage during ‘a crisis’.
So how badly affected are you?
The term histrionic derives from the Latin histrio, meaning a comedian, boaster, or even a cheat. When you deprived of love, you tend to become hysterical. You burst into tears for nothing, or you fly into a rage. For those around you, it’s heaven or hell. You are either in the depths of despair, or you are on Cloud Nine.
When you are let down in love, you become terribly narcissistic. It does have its advantages (you end up looking particularly glamorous) but it can be quite inconvenient. You spend all your money on clothes, cosmetics and beauty treatments.. and yet, despite all the care you take of your body and the time you put into your appearance, you are never satisfied with what you see in the mirror. Deep down, you don’t think you look good and you are scared that no one will find you attractive.
No matter how much your friends or would-be partners try to reassure you, you simply cannot believe anyone could find you in the least seductive.
You are so hungry for love, it makes you submissive, you become a real doormat. You give up your whole personality. You no longer have tastes, ideas, or preferences of your own. Clothes, work, home, holidays, you let other people decide on everything.
Sometimes it works out quite well, especially if your partner likes the same things as you do. Fine if he’s crazy about sailing and you adore anything to do with being out in the fresh air. Not so good, though, if he turns out to be mad about white-water rafting and your idea of heaven is an afternoon in a museum.
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